Mortimer George Creations

The use of emoticons have caused me to raise my right eyebrow on more than one occasion of late and that says a lot since I was born with fairly sparse eyebrows.  I don’t think  Ingmar Bergman had any idea the use of a smiley face would reach such epic, and detached proportions.

Remember when Wal-Mart sported the smiley face on their aprons? With the widespread use of multiple emoticons these days what would those Aprons look like now?  If I saw an attractive person while working at Wal-Mart would I change my apron to the blinkey eye emoticon 😉  If I was tired would I change my apron to the stick out your tongue with the “p” emoticon 😛 ?   Emoticons are, in my opinion, a completely abused and overused method of communication.  Call it what you want: smileys, emoticons, winkey, emotag or Emoji’s…  Whatever.  As with most fads the day they go away will bring a huge smile to my face, literally.

As I always do, I looked up the word to better understand the origin or true meaning (because I’m a renaissance man and that’s how we roll).  So here it is:  Emoticons are the little pictures that relate to a word. They come up instead of  a word. For example if you typed the word smile if you had emoticons then a  little picture of a smiley face would come up. They are used mostly on messaging  programs.

They forgot the very last three words in the definition.  Emoticons. are. stupid.  Particularly when used in emails or  communications between adults. Why not just write the word and reveal your true emoticon, oops, I mean emotion?

Here is an example I saw in corporate america, ” Due to cost cutting measures, the company will no longer provide supplemental stipends for lunches in the company cafe.  As a result, lunches will not be subsidized going forward.  Even though this benefit will no longer be provided, the total cost of lunches will not change and will remain more than competitive with external restaurants.  We believe employees will continue to take advantage of the convenience and value of eating lunch in our cafe 🙂 “. What the hell! That was nothing to smile about…at all. You just cost me $6.00 per day X 5 = $30 X 4 = $120 per month.  You know what I can do with $120?

If you think you can simply just smiley face away any negative comment to someone with half a brain then you have another thing coming.

I’ve seen unknown inappropriate use of smiley faces and this one just happened this week.  A friend of mine received a text with an emoticon depicting a burning cigarette  to replace the word Kool.  Well my friend so happens to be in a smoking cessation program.  How rude. She immediately started craving a cigarette from the mere sight of a beautifully painted half smoked, lit, Marlboro light.  We laughed it off, but how nice would it have been for her to receive a phone call or text that told her she was a cool person.

Why would you send someone in the midst of a smoking cessation program a cigicon?

I’m not going to sugar-coat this next example because my teenage roommates abuse it beyond the point of recognition and if there are adults out there (which I know there are) that do this, well… I’ll address it by asking  the question first.  How many consecutive emoticons can you line up under that picture you just posted on Instagram or sent via text?  When I see this I want to pull out my shot gun, line up each emoticon and start picking  them off one by one as if they’re in front of a firing squad. It could be my level of maturity but I usually squint my eyes in order to understand the point of each emoticon and its relevance to the picture.

Did the four-letter word “Love” become antiquated?  Is it truly a four-letter word that has become even more difficult to write or say similar to the traditional four-letter curse words?  Are we now telling that special someone we <insert less than sign and number three>  them.  I heart you baby. So, not only are we using emoticons to replace words and feelings, we now use it as a substitute for life.   Not to be harsh or anything but I want to <insert middle-finger>  when I see or hear someone say, “I heart you”. Either that or uncheck the box. Its, well, pretty infantile 😦

In my quest to be a better communicator and express my thoughts and heartfelt feelings, sometimes it comes across as less than three.