Mortimer George Creations

My mom celebrated 80 years this weekend.  She was presented her gift with this monologue  by her grandson in town crier fashion. Of course, he was garbed in clothing from the era because that’s how we do it.  His acting skills were Oscar’ eske… his accent, however, left alot to be desired:

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye! A proclamation regarding our dear Lady Millie formerly of Puerto Limon, Costa Rica and now of San Fernando Valley, California.
All persons having any business before the Honorable Justices of the Los Angeles District Court, draw near.  Give your attendance and you shall be heard. All ye gentlefolk; lords and ladies, fair elves, tireless dwarfs, diligent hobbits, gentle mistresses and most distinguished gentlemen.  Whereas a bellowing bell-ringer in a tricorn hat, britches, jabot and waistcoat almost always gets the party started right, or at least with Colonial swagger.

A message to you:

The magnificent and tedious title of Grandmum, and mum, auntie, sis, seamstress, stylist, singer, poet, and now 80 years old has doth been bestowed upon our own fair Lady Millie formerly of Limon and now of San Fernando Valley, California, intimately known for her superior success in delivering many a killing blow by the belt to many a children buttocks area. Let us rejoice in her glory and feast in celebration!

However! We must also be wary for the fair lady Millie formerly from Limon now of San Fernando Valley California has been summoned by the Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip the Duke of Edinburgh.

“Maaaan, What you talkin’ bout !?”, one might say.

Whereas Lady Millie formerly of Limon and now of San Fernando Valley California herewith has been bequeathed an all-expense paid trip to London, England! in honor of obtaining the 80 year-old milestone!

God Save the Queen, the Prince of Edinburgh, the British Armed forces, the Ministry of Defense, the Secretary of State for War, The First Lord of the Admiralty, the Secretary of State for Air, members of the Royal Navy, Royal Army and Royal Air Force, for they shall be in the presence of true royalty.