Mortimer George Creations

We decided to give you a few days to get the 2014 backwash out of your system because we knew when the clock struck 12 o’clock on New Year day (Cinderella) you wouldn’t suddenly come to your senses and truly leave 2014 in the past.  So, in no particular order, we’ve put together the top 5 things that need to poof, be gone in 2015:

1.  Twerking –  Somewhere around Miley Cyrus the twerk industry went south, figuratively. Ok, ok, ok, technically it was 2013 but it gained a head of steam in 2014 with #twerkteams that included both men and women.  I lived in Georgia back in the mid-90’s where twerking was an art form not yet known to mainstream America, and only select booty’s were called forth to go up and down.  Twerking did not start in 2014.  Let’s go back to yester-year shall we?  Not all booty’s are made to clap. I think the picture speaks for itself which is more like the snaps at a poetry slam than a full-blown ovation.  To put it lightly…can we bring Hannah Montana back?  please? Love you Miley! Back that thing up.

2.  Men in Black…socks – Guys, there’s a new norm.  Let’s get out of the middle ages and enter into the new millennium in 2015.  This may shock you but Troglodytes are not in vogue. It’s acceptable, wait, it is encouraged to brighten up your life and emerge from your cave with a modern, stylish sock game that speaks to your personality and lifestyle.  Just to clarify, there is still a need for plain black or brown socks so keep a pair in the back of your drawer for that funeral or maybe a…funeral, RIP.  You might find it useful to look through the collection of bold cashmere socks at evokesocks.com, and, get an additional 10% off by using the coupon code: titosixtyone.  So, how’s your sock game?

3.  Charles Barkley social and political rants – Chuck, love you to death and as an avid NBA on TNT fan, I look forward to the post game banter between you, Shaq, Kenny and Ernie, but please, please, please do not provide your opinion on anything in 2015 other than basketball!  You have made millions playing the game.  It’s what you know, sorta.  It’s your money-maker.  We don’t care for your thoughts about, well, anything else.  Chuck, when the media approaches you for comments on the next issue America faces, and we know they will, please resist the temptation to answer your phone.   Chuck it’s ok for you to continue making millions and talk basketball.  In other words, no 2015 freebies Chuck.

4. Replacing an “S” with a “Z” –  I thought this one would go away in 2014, but it just seems to persist.  ThiZ Zhit haz to Ztop.  Zee how that workZ?

5. Selfies – My selfie game is on fleek. This one is near and dear to my heart and it is with deep and utter penitence that I must say (gulp)…selfies are dead in 2015. I pride myself on being an intermediate selfie taker-er.  I glamorized my selfie game by writing a post about it, here.  You see, when selfies first became popular, we thought it was just a photo someone took of you, but now it is beyond obvious because your right arm is horizontally in view while your left is posing.  The selfie rookies have taken over the game. Let’s just say, it is time to post quality, SLR pictures.  By the way, an occasional “usie” is ok in 2015.

6. Snarks –  Checkout the popular pictures on Instagram.  Examine anyone who has made a major transformation in their life.  Check out anyone who has socially or financially upgraded.  Checkout anyone who is not basic and there within the confines of his or her mother’s basement and behind the safety of a computer monitor you will find folks who insult, belittle and spread negativity on social media in the very feed of those who are progressive. It’s time for snarks to “get a life” in 2015.

There were many others we could have added to the list, but we stopped at 6 because we stopped at 6.  Here are a few more.  Let’s call these the honorable mention “poofers”:

• Facebook videos – ghetto fisticuffs videos to be exact.
• Using the words: “haters”, “awesomeness”, “rachet”, “Bae”, “THOT“, “yassss”, etc.
• Ice bucket challenges or any challenge for that matter.  Just give!
• #Hashtagging #every #word or #Hashtaggingeveryword – I’ll do better.
• Facebook Chain posts – the posts that give you the guilt trip if you don’t share it…Poof, be gone!

So tell us, are there others you would add to the list?  Tell us about your top poofers?  and don’t forget to share this article, the world needs to know.